My and Self.

dear emmia and kirk,
   I'm being dramatic today. My emotions are up, down, upside down, sideways, diagonal and everything in between which just makes me frustrated which is NOT good people.
   Life as a missionary isn't always lollipops and rainbows. Its sometimes really hard just like life. And sometimes I feel like this:

A.K.A : "A missionary's emotions are as real as yours. Just because they might get sad over people's rejections, does not make their feelings any less real."

Some people think that missionaries are perfect. We are called for 18 to 24 months to be representatives of Jesus Christ and teach the world Jesus Christ's Gospel. But just because we are representing the only perfect man that walked on this earth does not mean we are perfect.

No matter how much I want to be perfect and follow Christ with exactness I have to fess up: I'm human. I am simply me. And at times I laugh at myself and say: "self you are far from perfect"

And this is where the emotions kick in. Right now I feel like a yo-yo. Have you ever had those days? One minute your smiling and laughing with your friends and the next you want to slink away and be a hermit? One moment I am totally OK at the fact that I'm not perfect. I'm human and me. But in a flash I'm  beating myself up for not being a perfect person or missionary or friend or sister. And then I start apologizing to myself and I have a conversation with myself that goes something like this. . . 
(Warning: yes this is a conversation amongst me, myself and I. I hope this happens to you sometimes because I talk to myself a lot and this is usually the blow by blow. If you get nervous with crazy or nutty tendencies you have been warned :)

My: "Self, I'm sorry I don't write everyone an individual email every week. I only have an hour to email everybody and honestly a blanket email telling everyone about my week is all my nerves can allow
I'm sorry for making up excuses about emailing people.
I'm sorry I sometimes get grumpy and I don't have a smile on my face. 
I'm sorry for . . . "
Self: "OK STOP!!!!!!! My, your not doing so good today. Let me help you out. Remember this?

My: "Yeah we saw it on Facebook this morning. We liked it so we shared it."
Self: "did you really read it?"
My: "Well yeah I did. Its saying that all the things I'm going through today is helping me and preparing me for tomorrow."
Self: "Good. Now how about this next one?"

My: "That one means that we aren't here just for ourselves.  Our purpose is to help people."
Self: "Put them together and what do you get?"
My: "It means that I can use what I'm going through now to help other people?"
Self: EXACTLY!!

And that my friends is how I get out of slumps that I'm in. I may slip into another one or several today because today is just one of those days but I know myself will pull me through. 

At times I fight with myself and beat myself up (just picture comic book status fighting with a play by play. I'm very detailed:) 
But I get nowhere and I'm left with a battered self who can't help me when I start hurting. 

My emotions are sometimes just crazy and I need to learn to be gentle with myself.

I'm learning to remember my Savior when I'm going through rough days. . . or weeks. . . our months. I'm learning my potential to become like Him.


Remember this when you are shredding your soul into iddy-biddy little pieces because you didn't get up when you were suppose to or you went to put you elbow on the table, missed and almost face planted into said table (yep just happened to me) or any of of the human, you things you do. 

Remember to be gentle with yourself. 

Remember that you can help people with what your going through. That moment for you to help might be 5 minutes from now for a stranger or might be years from now for your own kids. 

Just remember you are loved and you are YOU!!! You are a child of God and you've GOT THIS!!!

And even when you beat and abandon yourself, remember Jesus Christ never will.

 He is always there

Love,
     Ryn.

Storm of Feelings

Dear Emmia and Kirk,
 Today I want to talk about storms. Not the storms of clouds and weather but the storms of life. These storms come in various forms and sizes but one thing is constant; they happen to all of us.

My storms are most likely completely different from you storms but again there is another constant. We can all rely on Jesus Christ to get us through these storms.

As a missionary my life is literally in the hands of God. We have transfers every 6 weeks where we could be sent anywhere in the mission with a new companion, new environment and new everything. Also as missionaries we try to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost to find people who are ready for Christ's message and that leads to our emotions being at the mercy of the people we teach. That storm is outside of me. I'm used to those storms I'm used to the circumstances trying to overthrow my inner soul.

But, at the moment I feel that the storm is on the inside. The things I thought I knew how to control: Fear, hope, pain, faith, disappointment, trust, uncertainty, charity, despair, delight are rebelling against me and raging inside my heart and mind with my little soul on a ship in the throws of the hurricane. ITS SO FRUSTRATING!! The things you thought weren't a storm suddenly turn into one and you are sitting there clinging onto the mast of your old ways thinking "why is this happening?"

I've learned that it happens so that we can learn to trust in God to pry our hands from the ship and walk to Christ.

"And when the disciples saw Jesus walking on the sea, they were troubled. . . But striaghtway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid. And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt? and when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased."
  Matthew 14:26-32.

Peter had a lot of courage to go out onto that water. He asked "if it be thou, bid me come" He knew that the Savior wouldn't forbid him to venture out. He knew His Savior. We all have that moment in life where we decide to get out of the ship and come to Christ. My "ship" was my life before my mission, the water is my mission (and future) and I have taken that step out of the comfortable life I used to live.

But I didn't know how rough the wind would be. Just like Peter when he focused on the wind and storm; that's where he started to sink. When he focused on Jesus Christ he was fine. When Jesus was helping him back to the ship they were still on the water and Peter, with the help of Christ, was walking on the water but it was only after they got into the ship that the wind ceased.

When we focus on Jesus Christ, the storms and winds are still there but we can survive them and overcome them as we keep our eyes on the Savior of our souls.

There's a song we listen to in the car that I feel is relating to me and the things I'm going through way to much not to mention. Its by Lifehouse and its called Storm.

How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And I know everything will be alright

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright

Everything's alright
Yeah, everything's alright 

 painting by Micheal T. Malm I have on my scripture case. I love Peter's face. He knows the person he is looking at.

As long as we are lost in Christ's eyes we won't be lost in the storms. 

My God is calming me. He is teaching me how to deal with the winds and the waves. He is walking with me in all of this. He is helping me see that the storms I go through are nothing compared to His power.

When I focus on Christ I can smile through the rain and I notice that when we meet life's challenges with Christ we can do anything!

It is easy enough to be pleasant,

When life flows by like a song,

But the man worth while is one who will smile,

When everything goes dead wrong.

For the test of the heart is trouble,

And it always comes with the years,

And the smile that is worth the praises of earth

Is the smile that shines through tears.

-Ella Wheeler Wilcox

It's all about choice. All of the trials in the world can't take away your ability to choose. And even though sometimes we feel like we're "ten feet under and upside down" we have the right to choose. Its hard to be happy when you don't feel like it. Its hard to smile when all you want to do is frown. But its even harder when you give in to that frown or sadness. 

This storm that's raging in my heart and mind cannot pull me down or rob me of my smile. I know I am a daughter of God who has a loving Father in Heaven that sent His Son to walk on my life's storms and teach me how to overcome my inward hurricanes and my outward typhoons; He is teaching me to walk on water.

Keep your eyes on Christ. Be single to God. Don't give up. If your are not walking on water yet, keep swimming. Reach out for Him. I know he will immediately reach out and give you aid.

D&C 88:68

Therefore, sanctify yourselves that your minds become single to God, and the days will come that you shall see him; for he will unveil his face unto you, and it shall be in his own time, and in his own way, and according to his own will.

Have the faith to trust in Christ and remember that you are never alone.

John 14:18
I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.

As we follow his commandments, listen to the Holy Ghost and follow His promptings to know what to do we will feel Him close and we will know that we are keeping our eyes on Him.

Know that He loves you.

Love,
  Ryn

"by Faith, they become"

Dear Emmia and Kirk,

  Well today is the day I have been out on my mission for one full year.
 
Today was also the day I finished the Book of Mormon in 26 days.

This past year I have learned many many many things.

One of them being that God loves us.

1 Nephi 11:17

"And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things."

We are His children and He wants all of us back. It doesn't matter what walk of life we come from or who has more worldly prestige because we are all equally loved by our Father.

Second of them being is to be happy and love where you are, who your with and how you got there no matter the mode of transportation.

Loving who you are and who your with will free you from yourself and that makes all the difference.

And thirdly of them being that when we have faith & pray to our Father we can conquer anything!

Moroni 7:26

"And after that he came men also were saved by faith in his name; and by faith, they become the sons of God. And as surely as Christ liveth he spake these words unto our fathers, saying: Whatsoever thing ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is good, in faith believing that ye shall receive, behold, it shall be done unto you."

BY FAITH WE BECOME!

It is only because of faith I have been able to leave behind everything I was used to; leave behind my family and all that I loved to come to New York and it is only by faith that I came to love the people here and pore out my heart in the service of my God. 

I could never be able to do it without faith, hope or charity.

Moroni 10:20

Wherefore, there must be faith; and if there must be faith there must also be hope; and if there must be hope there must also be charity.

I by myself could not have gone through this year with all that I have done and seen and cherished without my Savior Jesus Christ. And I won't be able to leave this beloved New York or the people here, go home to my family whom I love or face my future without my God.

Have faith to become His

Doubt not, But be BELIEVING!

Mormon 9:27

Love,

   Ryn.

"Filling their souls with Joy"

Dear Emmia and Kirk,

In the  Book of Mormon. there are so many trials:

Moving and not knowing where your going (1 Nephi 2:4)

Sibling revelry (1 Nephi 3:28)

Mistakes (2 Nephi 4)

Wayward sons (Alma 39)

Just to name a few. So what did they do when things got tough? What should we do when a tsunami of problems wash away our peace? Again the Book of Mormon not only gives us examples of trials but also examples of ways to get through it.

  I want to share with you one of my favorite scriptures. I say one of them because its just too hard to pick just one favorite scripture. That's like trying to pick out a favorite star among the heavens.
Anyways back to the scripture. Its Helaman 3:35.

This scripture is talking about the Nephites a people that lived in ancient America. They have had a lot of wars (a trial, right?) because of wickedness but this is a time where some of them are striving to live the commandments of God.

"Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God."

Their trials weren't over and done with and then they had joy. They still had hard times but they had joy through it. How you might ask? Through fasting and praying and trusting in God

I know that we must fast and pray. That is the only way we will receive spiritual light. I know that when we put in our effort we will gain strength and firmness in our humility and faith in Christ.

I know that when we "yield our hearts unto God" Christ will "fill our souls with joy" even when we are going through the "very jaws of hell" (D&C 122:7)

Whenever your life feels like its going downhill, kids, think of Jesus Christ. His name has power alone. Jesus Christ will help us climb up our own personal mountains but we have to choose to move forward. We have to choose to receive the joy Christ desires to give us.

The Refiner's Fire

This talk (link above) is by James E. Faust. Here are some clippets of what he says and quotes:

Parley P. Pratt said: “If I had been set to turn the world over, to dig down a mountain, to go to the ends of the earth, or traverse the deserts of Arabia, it would have been easier than to have undertaken to rest, while the Priesthood was upon me. I have received the holy anointing, and I can never rest till the last enemy is conquered, death destroyed, and truth reigns triumphant.” (Journal of Discourses, 1:15.)

Elder Orson F. Whitney asked and answered this question: “To whom do we look, in days of grief and disaster, for help and consolation? … They are men and women who have suffered, and out of their experience in suffering they bring forth the riches of their sympathy and condolences as a blessing to those now in need. Could they do this had they not suffered themselves?

“Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered; And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him.” (Heb. 5:8–9).

"The Divine Shepherd has a message of hope, strength, and deliverance for all. If there were no night, we would not appreciate the day, nor could we see the stars and the vastness of the heavens. We must partake of the bitter with the sweet. There is a divine purpose in the adversities we encounter every day.They prepare, they purge, they purify, and thus they bless."

I know that no matter what your going through whether it be debt, losing a loved one or wading through the storm of guilt, that Jesus Christ loves you and has given you this things because He knows you can handle it. 

There have been times in my life where I didn't believe that. Where I would yell at God for giving me things that I did not believe I could handle. 

Many burdens feel that way; that they are dragging us down. and they may not be big burdens really. They may be those small thoughts in the back of your mind asking: Will it work out? or What does my future hold? and the enormity of that unanswered questions leaves you in worry and doubt.

Remember the Savior in those moments. Strength comes to change, to have hope and happiness in the agony of sorrow and hardship. 

DO NOT GIVE UP. 

Keep your eye on the Son of God though your horizon is dark.

Have faith that it will all work out in the end. If it ain't working out, it ain't the end.

Have faith in Christ and let Him purify and sanctify your heart so that you can stand firm and know that He is.

Love,
   Ryn.

Sun Dogs

Dear Emmia and Kirk,
You know those mornings where you have to wake up really early and you don't think you could ever be in a happy mood all day until God does something to blind you with His brilliance and put a smile on your face?

Well this week we experienced just that. A couple days ago we were driving to the Peter Whitmer Farm for our shift early early EARLY in the morning. (did I mention it was early?) The east horizon was just starting to lighten as we pulled onto the road. As the sun rose, the temperature dropped. 8 degrees. 6 degrees. 3 degrees. 0 degrees. this is when we started taking pictures of the car dash board where the temp. registers.
 -1.    -3.   -4.    -6.   -8

Both the temperature and my mood were in the negative. I don't like morning. I don't like the cold.

But God put something in my path to change my view.

As we drove I noticed a rainbow on each side of the rising sun and it was so amazingly brilliant. I had never seen that before.

A little while later we actually drove through the rainbow:)


(picture from searching "sun dogs" on Google images)

I felt so loved in that moment. God knew I was having a hard time that morning following Him and being Christlike. So he gave me my first glimpse at one of His phenomenons, sun dogs, to help me see that morning from His point of view.

If it hadn't been the crack of dawn we wouldn't have seen the rainbow around the sun.

If it hadn't been that cold we wouldn't have seen it either.

Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes we make it hard. And all the time God is trying to tell us that He loves us and gives us hard things so we can see the beauty in it.

"He was a burning and a shining light: and ye were willing for a season to rejoice in his light." (John 5:35)

When I follow the Light of Jesus Christ I am happier. I'm definitely not trial-less. My life isn't perfect and rainbows and sun dogs all the time because I follow Jesus Christ.

But with Jesus Christ I can smile through the 8 below weather. I can climb up all my trials with His strength and help. I can overcome my flaws and imperfections and on this journey back to Him and Heavenly Father I can help other people come closer to Christ's light.

Mathew 5

14. Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.

15. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

16. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

Shine for Jesus Christ and your Heavenly Father and you will see His Light in your life.

It happened to me :)

Love,

   Ryn

My Brothers.

Dear Emmia and Kirk,
  Meet my brothers!!!!:)


This is Josh with Sarah, the love of his life (and his favorite hat.)
 


Cordell! my brother-in-law with the love of his life, my sister Aubrey.

And finally. . .

 Jesus Christ, my Savior and Redeemer.

My brothers mean a lot to me.

Josh was the one that read Harry Potter and every other book I wanted when I was too young to read. We would sit on his bed for hours while he read and then when I was learning to read we would take turns. It must have been annoying to him sometimes but he never showed it. We would play lacrosse together, have chess battles(he won basically most of the time), and he helped me learn how to ride a bike. Through all these I have learned and grown. Josh taught me never to let anyone win, always be yourself no matter what and that I am loved no matter what. The only thing that separates us is 8 years age difference.

Cordell loves my sister. He treats her right and is her other half. He's given me a lot of advice and funny memories from his past while Aubrey slept talked beside us. Even though I haven't known him long he truly is a solid guy that cares.

Josh and Cordell know how to love. They show me shining examples of how women are supposed to be treated and being their sister has taught me so many things. They are both examples of my Brother Jesus Christ.

Despite the 2000 year age difference between us I know Jesus Christ loves me. He has taught me so many lessons on how to be a better person through the scriptures, prophets of God, and life lessons from the examples around me.

This is to my mortal brothers and to all my other spiritual brothers (and my sons who will be brothers to there siblings) out there. Be His Example. Jesus Christ knows you; your weakness and trials and things you have problems with. He still loves you. He knows your joy and smile and happiness. He still loves you.
He loves you no matter what.
And guess what? I love you too.

Love, Ryn.

From explosive mess to an old lesson re-addressed.

Dear Emmia and Kirk,
As missionaries we have these planners. And they look kind of boring (see picture below). . . so as sister missionaries we like to decorate them so they aren't boring. As I was making mine yesterday I learned (or relearned) a very valuable lesson.

At first I didn't know what to do. Nothing new, that always happens. I went through a bunch of Ensigns flipping pages trying to find that perfect picture. Glue flying, scissors snipping and one paper explosion later I acquired two amazing pictures and plastered them on my planner whilst sweat was plastering my face... and me, huffing and puffing.

 (this is pre-explosion)

Then I wanted to have a picture of Jesus Christ but. . .  no room.

Moral of the story: Always put Jesus Christ first in your life.

My planner looks amazing and it is centered on Jesus Christ but "always center my life on Him" was the nugget of truth I got when I was making it. See? Valuable lesson in an every 6-week task of planner making:)
See isn't it beautiful? (and its got His name on it:)
The lesson I learned while making this planner isn't anything new for me. I've learned all my life to put Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father on high priority, but this little moment in my life will always remind me to keep Him first in my life.

Always love Him first. Always pray first. Always pay your tithing first. Always try to be like Him. Always follow Him.

Life has taught me many things but the most important are to hearken unto his voice and trust in Him.

So kids, (hopefully that's OK to call you that) Find Him in the simple things. He is there. Maybe you have to look really hard to see His hand or maybe, like my situation above, the Spirit just shows us the things you need to remember.

I love this picture! (As you can see part of it is on my planner)
There is a lot of moments in my life that look like that. Stars exploding and mass chaos everywhere!! But just like new stars are born from the old, my bright future is put together from the pieces of the past.

Jesus Christ is the one that helps me to move past all those pieces of the past(heehee) and live in the present and have bright hope for the future:) He is my Savior. He is my Friend and Brother and He always has a place in my heart. (no matter how chaotic it is in there.)

Love, Ryn.

Failures, anyone?

Dear Emmia and Kirk,

As I look back on this last year and forward to the new I ask myself a lot of questions: 

What have I done?

What have I become this past year? 

What do I want to be? 

What are my new years resolutions?

Can I even remember my last ones?

Which ones did I accomplish?

Which ones are unfulfilled?

How can I get better?

What should I aim for?

What haven't I aimed for?

What in the world is wrong with me?

Why am I asking all these questions anyway?

Hmmm, maybe I should learn how to play the guitar?

Woo I wonder if I could read all the standard works in a year!?

Wouldn't that be an accomplishment!?

But what about the other goals I want to get done? like:

-become a Preach my Gospel Missionary

-declutter(I have soo much stuff right?

-make every prayer meaningful

-get in shape and eat right, yay!

-develop talents and abilities

-turn 21(not a given one if you think about it)

-always be myself(which is super hard, no?

-maybe figure out how to do a podcast

-and learn how to crochet and knit a pattern

-become fluent in Spanish

How am I ever gonna get all these things done?

What about last years goals that did not happen?

like at all?

Was last year a failure?

Maybe it wasn't?

I wonder if you got confused with all these questions?

     This past year was all a year should be. It had up and downs and unexpected turns and paths. Yeah I made a bunch of mistakes and goof ups but I also did a lot of good.

So as I tried to figure out my goals for this year as well as reflecting, my sister emailed me and gave me this sound advice:(without even knowing it)

 "Remember that "failures" are only failures if you don't learn from them."

 So I'm not going to limit my goals this year just because I "failed" some goals last year. I learned from them so they're not really failures.

 

I know I may not know the path but I know who is with me. My Savior never leaves me and with Him and can return to God. I focus on him and through all the trial and mistakes I try to always remember:

So my new years resolutions are:

Use the Atonement daily, one day at a time.

Master the simple things

Love and serve others

Be balanced

Return with Him

And any others He wants to to do:)

 So go out and learn and grow. I'm certainly doing it or trying to, and that's what life is all about.
   Because we are eternal beings (we have always existed and will always exist) this is the only time in our existence where we will have such a close understanding of and think of beginnings and ends, months and years, and the everyday mortal things.

Enjoy it!!! Reach out and grab it. Cherish and love every bad hair day, flat tire, broken relationship, wrong turn, right way, family laughter, precious moment, held child, falling leaf, snowflake, or rain, skip or trip or run, frown or smile, dashed hope or accomplished dream. Because its only fleeting and you'll realize as you look back on it all, your failures or mistakes will be your most triumphant memories, where you overcame and changed and loved the most.

God gave us this opportunity to be human together. Lets enjoy the journey; potholes, bumps, wrong turns and all. So lets do this new year thing together. What are your resolutions?
Love,
Ryn

The Agreeable Four

These four agreements helped me a lot when I went into the Missionary Training Center, leaving behind everything; my family, animals, and putting my schooling on hold to serve My Savior and help people come closer to him. I had a hard time at the beginning but some one shared these with me and I hope it helps you as much as its helped me:(italicized words are my commentary)

The Four Agreements

by: Don Miguel Ruiz

Be Impeccable With your Word

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.As a missionary we continually strive for this. We share the truth and love in every word we speak.

Don't Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. I have a super hard time with this one. But if we apply #3 it becomes easier.

Don't Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. When you "think" someone is upset or mad at you ask them! When I've just asked 9 out of 10 they aren't mad at me at all.

Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret. Again a tough one for me to follow. But this is one is definitely a reality check for me whenever I'm sick or in pain. Doing my best is all the Savior asks of me.

Love is the motive

Love is pretty basic, right? This world tends to make love complicated and I know that there's a lot of different definitions but to me, love is simple.

Learn from everybody. Its amazing what people know and the experiences they've had.

Observe who they are, what they need and what you can give them.

View their lives. Whether is be only a few seconds or all their lives, be witnesses to their lives.

Eternally care about them.

I try to love every person I see. The people I've known all my life as well as the people that I take on tours at the LDS historical sites here in New York. I may have only known them for maybe just an hour or so and I may never see them again but I know all of them are children of God. They have concerns, questions, problems, trials, joys, and lives. Love needs to be the motive for all of us to rid ourselves of the darkness and anger that seems to be raging and bring the light of Christ to this world that truly needs it. Love is simple but it will help so many people.              

Simply spread love.

Opposition in all moments

laugh, cry.

frown, smile.

happy, sad.

failure, success.

life, death.

darkness, light.

In one moment

out the other.

Dreams, hopes, wishes collide with Doubt, fear, confusion.

all in the same moment.

Life ends

Death begins

something more than this mortal earth.

In all these moments of opposition I see the reason for it all.

This life is here for me to become all He sees in me.

The plan, the opposition, the suffering, the rising.

All in the moment of His life He did the impossible 

to make it possible for the return of the river.

My moment of life so important 

to the Father of the Son

that died for me

that rouse for me.

The beginning.

 
The River's Return

This river seems at peace in the tranquility of its reflection.
The mountains point downward into its waters.
This river of my soul is flowing forward with a steadfastness towards Him.
My course is set. I seek eternal truths that will last me my journey through.
I reflect everything. The sun, moon, and stars.
I fill the river of my soul with living waters of the one who died for me.
This river will always be returning to the Savior's loving arms.