Seeking God's correction.

Dear Emmia and Kirk,
 I was usually a pretty good kid. I stayed out of trouble and tried not to put more stress on my single mom than was needed. I tried to follow all the rules and be a good girl.
I'm sure I slipped up a time or two with minor rules but I remember one time in particular that really affected me. One time I didn't get home until 3 am. I'm sure teenagers do this all the time but it was unheard of for me. I was at a friend's house and we started the movie late and I fell asleep. By the time I woke up it was really late. My mom called me and I knew she wasn't happy. Driving home I was scared. When I got in the house mom grilled me for an hour. My heart hurt so much with guilt. One of my worst fears was to cause extra stressed on an already tasked mom. But there was a little part of my soul that was saying "Wait a minute here! I've been a good girl thus far. I haven't gone to booze or drugs to drown my loneliness. I haven't rebelled with major things. I didn't follow curfew once. Why is this such a big deal?"

Looking back on it I know now why my mom yelled at me. She was scared to. She loves me and wants the best for me. That little rebellious thought is gone. now I know that her corrections and love helped me stay on the right path until I had faith in it.

Have you ever felt like that? Where you think you are doing well and you get cut to the curb? You think you've figured it out but then you get punished for one small thing? Your body is ok and working already then WAMMY something goes wrong that leaves you in a lot of pain for one small act? You pick up a glass thinking to drink water and its milk? walking along and all of a sudden you've stubbed your toe? You think "he's the one!" and then he's not, leaving you with pain and bitterness in your heart?

This happens to all of us. the sinners the saints and the people in between. Trials come to all of us that are unexpected and often it makes you realize something you did not want to think about; a flaw in your character, a lack of patience or endurance, or simply that life's not fair.

Why do these things happen?

because God loves us. He loves us and wants the best for us.

Sometimes we grow into something God doesn't want us to be. Maybe we have grown according to the will of others, found nourishment from bad soil or have wrapped around something that is harmful to us.



God doesn't want us to be just a good person or a better person. He wants us to be His heirs; His Children.

When we seek for His loving corrections he transforms us.

"The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ would take the slums out of people, and then they would take themselves out of the slums.

The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature."

   -Ezra Taft Benson.

When we follow Christ even when we feel like our lot in life isn't fair Christ will change us, change our thoughts and patterns until we are grateful for those unfair things. Health problems? they teach us to take care of what we can and trust in God with the rest. Drinking milk but expecting water? you learn to expect the unexpected AND to look before you decide to act. Stubbed toe? teaching you to watch the path you're on. heart ache, abuse (from yourself or others)? Helps you see that giving your trust to God is worth it.

I have many many moments where I feel God has cut me down and given me something I cannot handle. But in those moments I realize that He is in it and afterwards I know I can handle it when I walk with Him.

Jesus Christ walked on water and when I follow Him I can, despite all the storms I'm given and go through I can walk on water too.

Love,

  Ryn

Sun Dogs

Dear Emmia and Kirk,
You know those mornings where you have to wake up really early and you don't think you could ever be in a happy mood all day until God does something to blind you with His brilliance and put a smile on your face?

Well this week we experienced just that. A couple days ago we were driving to the Peter Whitmer Farm for our shift early early EARLY in the morning. (did I mention it was early?) The east horizon was just starting to lighten as we pulled onto the road. As the sun rose, the temperature dropped. 8 degrees. 6 degrees. 3 degrees. 0 degrees. this is when we started taking pictures of the car dash board where the temp. registers.
 -1.    -3.   -4.    -6.   -8

Both the temperature and my mood were in the negative. I don't like morning. I don't like the cold.

But God put something in my path to change my view.

As we drove I noticed a rainbow on each side of the rising sun and it was so amazingly brilliant. I had never seen that before.

A little while later we actually drove through the rainbow:)


(picture from searching "sun dogs" on Google images)

I felt so loved in that moment. God knew I was having a hard time that morning following Him and being Christlike. So he gave me my first glimpse at one of His phenomenons, sun dogs, to help me see that morning from His point of view.

If it hadn't been the crack of dawn we wouldn't have seen the rainbow around the sun.

If it hadn't been that cold we wouldn't have seen it either.

Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes we make it hard. And all the time God is trying to tell us that He loves us and gives us hard things so we can see the beauty in it.

"He was a burning and a shining light: and ye were willing for a season to rejoice in his light." (John 5:35)

When I follow the Light of Jesus Christ I am happier. I'm definitely not trial-less. My life isn't perfect and rainbows and sun dogs all the time because I follow Jesus Christ.

But with Jesus Christ I can smile through the 8 below weather. I can climb up all my trials with His strength and help. I can overcome my flaws and imperfections and on this journey back to Him and Heavenly Father I can help other people come closer to Christ's light.

Mathew 5

14. Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.

15. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

16. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

Shine for Jesus Christ and your Heavenly Father and you will see His Light in your life.

It happened to me :)

Love,

   Ryn

The Hope in my Heart

Dear Emmia and Kirk,
   My life has not been perfect. Big surprise right? From the get-go it was violent and stormy. I really hope that your start in life will be filled with loving parents and a peace in the home.

I have many memories  that hurt to look back on (the first four years of my life, the passing of my grandpa and many in between). We all have those moments in life where everything seems hopeless. You struggle to get out of bed, put on a brave face to greet the world and move forward. . . or you don't. You just sit there thinking about all the hopeless things. I've done that a lot in the past. I've had many trials in my life, probably not the most extravagant of hardships but they are unique to me.

I've learned from them a hope. This hope isn't fleeting or temporary. Its real and has been real my entire life. It has comforted me through the darkest of paths and the thorniest of ways to find some peace in this life of chaos.

Jesus Christ is the Hope in my heart.

This painting by Greg Olsen is a small vision of the peace I get when I think of Jesus Christ. When I was pitying myself for not having an earthly father or crying at night because of nightmares or grief that peace was with me. It doesn't stop me from crying or feeling sorrow. All it does is reassures me that nothing will be lost.

  Through Jesus Christ I know I'll see my grandpa again. I'll see my Father in Heaven again. Everything that's unfair or mean in life will be made right. Jesus Christ will make all the imperfect things perfect.
   Emmia. Kirk. I want you both to know that He wants to be with you all the time. When you choose to let Him in He will give you peace and everything you need to become like Him. Sometimes it won't be easy. He'll give you things that don't seem like blessings, but they are. When your in the darkest part of your soul thinking you can't possibly return to Him or find Him, wondering how you'll ever see light again, know please know that He is there, in that dark place with you feeling all that you feel, crying all of those tears you've ever cried and holding out is hand. Just have faith to reach out to Jesus Christ and He will lift you up. All of those dark times are molding you into who you can become: greater than you can dream, better than you can imagine, strong enough to touch the stars and maybe someday make some of your own.

  When I walk with Him I am at peace.

Remember always His love for you.

    Love,

Ryn

Changing!

Dear Emmia and Kirk,
      Well the previous posts has been slightly aimless. When I started this blog it was called The River's Return. Pretty neat huh? (you can read The Reason page to find out why I picked it:) I went through a whole long gazillion year period where I was changing my blog every week because it just wasn't working. I even went to wordpress.com and started the exact same blog (same name and posts) thinking I could just choice between them if one worked out. . . it didn't work out. This whole process of writing a blog seemed daunting and now frustrating! ggrrrrrr! I went through many phrases of denial (oh it looks fine don't worry), ignoring it (I'll figure it out later) and utter frustration (why can't I get the colors to work out?!AND why can't this do-dad thingy go THERE?!)

   But I did not give up. I wanted to start writing a blog so I could possibly help people (including you) to find the meaning of life and how they could come closer to Jesus Christ. So, a few days ago I had the idea to write a blog and to my future kids whose names will hopefully be Emmia and Kirk (at least two of them.) I thought it was such a cool idea because people say that if your writing to someone specific it helps focus your writing and brings it purpose to you and also not going to lie, it will probably be super funny to read this with you one day:)

     So my next step was trying to add it to the blog I had already have, a sub blog within my river's return blog. But alas I am technologically impaired and it was just making me super frustrated and I kept bugging everyone about it. Soooo. . . BAM! complete change:) Kind of like putting on new underwear or changing your whole life. . . or blog (heehee)

     I love this feeling! To have a purpose to my blog and to write freely. This is how life should be all the time right? Moving forward and progressing all the time without any hitches or potholes and moving along with purpose. Isn't that what most everyone prays for? Good health. Happy life. Great career. But it doesn't always turn out that way. We have adversity and trials. Why do you think that is? That when we pray for blessings and a happy life we get a flat tire, lose a job or simply don't feel as happy as we want? I came across a quote in my personal study that will help with that question. Its in the Ensign and it really shined new light into my brain:

   It effected me so much I even cut it out and glued it in my study journal. :) Do we understand what that's saying?  OUR TRIALS ARE BLESSINGS. They refine us and bring us closer to God which is the greatest blessing of all. 

Lean on Jesus Christ through prayer, faith and His scriptures and you will make it through all the trials and frustrations of this world. That is how we become truly free. Free to live. Free to be us and free to return to our Father in Heaven. "I, the Lord God, make you free, therefore ye are free indeed; and the law also maketh you free". (D&C 98:8)

   Love,

       Ryn.

Turning

     Well just recently I have gone through some big milestones in my life. You know the events and the moments in them that you'll remember for a lifetime (until you're senile)? That's what I'm going through. For those of you who don't know I am a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I serve for 18 months. Well I just got to my half way point. And if that's not enough I just had my 20th birthday. At first, I took it as a double spiritual slap to the face. Satan, (you know the bad guy that whispers horrid things to us to make us feel down about ourselves so we don't reach our full potential and tries to convince us that we should hide our light from others? yeah him) he was really trying to drag me down. And the funny thing is I was given him power to do it!! And I didn't even realize it. So I was going through this junk and kind of coasting on the path when I learned about affirmations; telling ourselves positive things in the mirror to ourselves.
      I love when God who knew I was going through a hard time (even when I didn't know it) helped me out and even gave me the tools to get better. I love God's mercy. All I was praying for was answers to why I was feeling so down when I should feel happy about all these amazing events in my life and God gave me not only the why but the how.
      The ladies might appreciate this. I remember when I was little and I was in ballet and trying (and failing) to spin. Me, being my little self I didn't know how to spot; where you look at one thing while spinning so you don't get dizzy. That's how I felt when Satan was trying to drag me down. I wasn't focusing on what I needed to. I felt all of those unhappy emotions like anger, frustration, doubt, annoyance, worry, fear, confusion, unfairness and they just spun me around in circles. That's what life is like if you don't have anything solid to focus on. You just end up going around and around, turning to and fro and you end up getting dizzy and falling down. But with something to focus on you can dance through life with a smile on your face.
  So I invite you to find something to focus on. Something solid for you so that you can move forward with all you got, no matter what stands in the way. Let me know what you come up with. :) For some it might be their career, their family or a simple something they do everyday.
      For me, my focus is the most solid thing I know to keep my eyes on: Jesus Christ. He will be there forever and because I will always exist and have a forever spirit, like everyone else, its nice to have a forever thing to focus on. He is my Guide and my Savior. He loves me and helps me with anything. Whenever I focus on Him
    I really don't know where you are at in life, if you like cats or dogs, have religion or not, if you are a pepper or a salt person but I want you to think about this next question:

If you knew that someone had lived every moment of their lives for you, then gave that life up just for you:

how would that make you feel?

how would you live?

what would you do for that person?

I know Jesus Christ did this for me and His sacrifice makes me feel like I am important and I know that I am. I want to live my life for Him and I will be like Him and serve Him by helping people like He did. I will focus on Him and turn to Him every time my life takes me for a spin. I will trust Him. I will be His, always.