Changing!

Dear Emmia and Kirk,
      Well the previous posts has been slightly aimless. When I started this blog it was called The River's Return. Pretty neat huh? (you can read The Reason page to find out why I picked it:) I went through a whole long gazillion year period where I was changing my blog every week because it just wasn't working. I even went to wordpress.com and started the exact same blog (same name and posts) thinking I could just choice between them if one worked out. . . it didn't work out. This whole process of writing a blog seemed daunting and now frustrating! ggrrrrrr! I went through many phrases of denial (oh it looks fine don't worry), ignoring it (I'll figure it out later) and utter frustration (why can't I get the colors to work out?!AND why can't this do-dad thingy go THERE?!)

   But I did not give up. I wanted to start writing a blog so I could possibly help people (including you) to find the meaning of life and how they could come closer to Jesus Christ. So, a few days ago I had the idea to write a blog and to my future kids whose names will hopefully be Emmia and Kirk (at least two of them.) I thought it was such a cool idea because people say that if your writing to someone specific it helps focus your writing and brings it purpose to you and also not going to lie, it will probably be super funny to read this with you one day:)

     So my next step was trying to add it to the blog I had already have, a sub blog within my river's return blog. But alas I am technologically impaired and it was just making me super frustrated and I kept bugging everyone about it. Soooo. . . BAM! complete change:) Kind of like putting on new underwear or changing your whole life. . . or blog (heehee)

     I love this feeling! To have a purpose to my blog and to write freely. This is how life should be all the time right? Moving forward and progressing all the time without any hitches or potholes and moving along with purpose. Isn't that what most everyone prays for? Good health. Happy life. Great career. But it doesn't always turn out that way. We have adversity and trials. Why do you think that is? That when we pray for blessings and a happy life we get a flat tire, lose a job or simply don't feel as happy as we want? I came across a quote in my personal study that will help with that question. Its in the Ensign and it really shined new light into my brain:

   It effected me so much I even cut it out and glued it in my study journal. :) Do we understand what that's saying?  OUR TRIALS ARE BLESSINGS. They refine us and bring us closer to God which is the greatest blessing of all. 

Lean on Jesus Christ through prayer, faith and His scriptures and you will make it through all the trials and frustrations of this world. That is how we become truly free. Free to live. Free to be us and free to return to our Father in Heaven. "I, the Lord God, make you free, therefore ye are free indeed; and the law also maketh you free". (D&C 98:8)

   Love,

       Ryn.

Turning

     Well just recently I have gone through some big milestones in my life. You know the events and the moments in them that you'll remember for a lifetime (until you're senile)? That's what I'm going through. For those of you who don't know I am a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I serve for 18 months. Well I just got to my half way point. And if that's not enough I just had my 20th birthday. At first, I took it as a double spiritual slap to the face. Satan, (you know the bad guy that whispers horrid things to us to make us feel down about ourselves so we don't reach our full potential and tries to convince us that we should hide our light from others? yeah him) he was really trying to drag me down. And the funny thing is I was given him power to do it!! And I didn't even realize it. So I was going through this junk and kind of coasting on the path when I learned about affirmations; telling ourselves positive things in the mirror to ourselves.
      I love when God who knew I was going through a hard time (even when I didn't know it) helped me out and even gave me the tools to get better. I love God's mercy. All I was praying for was answers to why I was feeling so down when I should feel happy about all these amazing events in my life and God gave me not only the why but the how.
      The ladies might appreciate this. I remember when I was little and I was in ballet and trying (and failing) to spin. Me, being my little self I didn't know how to spot; where you look at one thing while spinning so you don't get dizzy. That's how I felt when Satan was trying to drag me down. I wasn't focusing on what I needed to. I felt all of those unhappy emotions like anger, frustration, doubt, annoyance, worry, fear, confusion, unfairness and they just spun me around in circles. That's what life is like if you don't have anything solid to focus on. You just end up going around and around, turning to and fro and you end up getting dizzy and falling down. But with something to focus on you can dance through life with a smile on your face.
  So I invite you to find something to focus on. Something solid for you so that you can move forward with all you got, no matter what stands in the way. Let me know what you come up with. :) For some it might be their career, their family or a simple something they do everyday.
      For me, my focus is the most solid thing I know to keep my eyes on: Jesus Christ. He will be there forever and because I will always exist and have a forever spirit, like everyone else, its nice to have a forever thing to focus on. He is my Guide and my Savior. He loves me and helps me with anything. Whenever I focus on Him
    I really don't know where you are at in life, if you like cats or dogs, have religion or not, if you are a pepper or a salt person but I want you to think about this next question:

If you knew that someone had lived every moment of their lives for you, then gave that life up just for you:

how would that make you feel?

how would you live?

what would you do for that person?

I know Jesus Christ did this for me and His sacrifice makes me feel like I am important and I know that I am. I want to live my life for Him and I will be like Him and serve Him by helping people like He did. I will focus on Him and turn to Him every time my life takes me for a spin. I will trust Him. I will be His, always.

Fighting

I have been having some interesting experiences lately. Nothing that could be video recorded or documented. They have been mostly in my head or in my spirit. I’ve been fighting a lot of things. Have you ever felt like that? That you’re doing spiritual kung fu in your mind? That dark and dire enemies have crept into your thoughts and tried to take control?

At these times where I’m wrestling with very real foes I remember that I and all of us are in a war, an unseen war which makes it all the more dangerous. Most people don’t know that we are in a war where heavenly and hellish forces are clashing to win their souls.

Does that change your perspective of who you are? Do you understand how important you are? Don’t worry if it doesn't. It didn't for me for the longest time and I have to remind myself all the time. It’s a continual journey for all of us. Finding out who we are and getting through this life of inner battles and outer conflicts.

The thing that always keeps me going through the difficult times is the knowledge that God loves me and knows my potential; who I can become. And that I have promised Him to do anything He asks and to trust Him. I know that those promises keep me close to Him and Him close to me; through good times, bad times and the worse times. Through this battle of mortality I have the One that created it all by my side and He has given me the armor I need (the Atonement of Jesus Christ, The gospel, covenants, scriptures, prayer, The Plan of Salvation, commandments, etc) to survive this war and get through to the great times. 

When life gets away from you, pray to the One that gave it to you.

     Life tends to get away from most of us. Whenever I hear people say a phrase like this one I tend to picture someone buying a huge Mastiff dog and trying to take this big pooch on a walk. I can just see in my head this poor someone being dragged by the horse-sized dog until they finally let go: hence life has "gotten away". Its a really comical and sad picture to me. Comical because when I was little that always happened to me with my sister's dog; a Great Pyrenees, and sad because I believe they (and me) could have had some help if they had asked for it. In my opinion we can all choose to have some help with our life. In the King James version of The Bible, Jesus Christ tells us this: "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." -Matthew 11:28-30.
     Well I think almost everyone falls under the category of "heavy laden". We all have worries, concerns, troubles, trails: its a part of the "life" that sometimes gets away. But for me and for anyone who wants Him to, Jesus Christ can help us. He has already helped us through The Atonement He can strengthen us to get through all the burdens of life.
      If you need help ask God. Simple as that! James 1:5. "If any of you lack wisdom let him ask of God that giveth to men liberally and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." God loves us and wants to help us. So don't let life get away or get in the way of His pure love. Seek after it, and He will be there for you.
                                                              WE ARE NOT ALONE!!!
                                                                        D&C 88:63

Proverb #1

Repentance (changing to come closer to Christ) is like brushing you teeth. You should do it daily.

The Agreeable Four

These four agreements helped me a lot when I went into the Missionary Training Center, leaving behind everything; my family, animals, and putting my schooling on hold to serve My Savior and help people come closer to him. I had a hard time at the beginning but some one shared these with me and I hope it helps you as much as its helped me:(italicized words are my commentary)

The Four Agreements

by: Don Miguel Ruiz

Be Impeccable With your Word

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.As a missionary we continually strive for this. We share the truth and love in every word we speak.

Don't Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. I have a super hard time with this one. But if we apply #3 it becomes easier.

Don't Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. When you "think" someone is upset or mad at you ask them! When I've just asked 9 out of 10 they aren't mad at me at all.

Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret. Again a tough one for me to follow. But this is one is definitely a reality check for me whenever I'm sick or in pain. Doing my best is all the Savior asks of me.

Love is the motive

Love is pretty basic, right? This world tends to make love complicated and I know that there's a lot of different definitions but to me, love is simple.

Learn from everybody. Its amazing what people know and the experiences they've had.

Observe who they are, what they need and what you can give them.

View their lives. Whether is be only a few seconds or all their lives, be witnesses to their lives.

Eternally care about them.

I try to love every person I see. The people I've known all my life as well as the people that I take on tours at the LDS historical sites here in New York. I may have only known them for maybe just an hour or so and I may never see them again but I know all of them are children of God. They have concerns, questions, problems, trials, joys, and lives. Love needs to be the motive for all of us to rid ourselves of the darkness and anger that seems to be raging and bring the light of Christ to this world that truly needs it. Love is simple but it will help so many people.              

Simply spread love.

Remember that I love you

       
    Home. Its totally different than a house. A home can be a house but not all houses are homes. home is where you are always welcome. you feel at peace and that you are loved and it always has the spirit of. . . homey-ness. When you move out of the home and into the world you suddenly realize how precious home is. Every time you return you always remember the memories you created there and the feeling of love and peace.
      That is what the temple is for me. It is the House of the Lord but it always has that feeling of returning home. Right now I am far away from my earthly home where my family is and my Heavenly one. I know I lived with God before this earthly home and the House of the Lord, the temple, gives me those feelings of love and peace that always remind me that my Father in Heaven loves me. He has given me so much to remember His love; this beautiful earth, the scriptures, modern-day prophets, prayer, my family, and the temple; all seem to whisper the message from my God and Father: “Remember that I love you.”
        We should always remember His love for us and show that we love Him by using the things He gives us to come closer to Him and His Son, Jesus Christ and help others do the same. He will always love us and give us those things we need to return to Him. Always remember His love and the home that was yours before you came to this world.