Plot Twist!!

Dear Emmia and Kirk,
    I remember one time when I was in elementary school we had a skate day. I was so excited!! I borrowed my sister's black and purple skates and I got there, strapped them on, made sure they were nice and tight and started skating my heart out. At first I just roamed around exploring but it got really serious when someone challenged me for a race.
Oh its on. I rolled up my sleeves. Ready, set, go!! I start flying down the track. I'm leaving my opponent in the dust. Weeeee. I smile with glee as I think "I'm totally going to win" and then guess what happened?

   That is right. I totally biffed it. ca-splat!! on the blacktop. I had been going so fast that when I tried to "hug the ground" I actually slid a couple feet. hee hee lucky me! as I was dusted my pants and my pride off I discovered a big red hole a little bit bigger than a quarter on my right knee. In my elementary mind I swear the fall had peeled/burned all of the skin off and the red I was looking at was muscle. I know, soo dramatic. (It's my way of finding humor in the situation.)

   Has this ever happened to you? Where you thing you are all set and you're going to accomplish all the things! but then you stub you toe or something glitches in your life and you're holding whats left and wondering what just happened?

When I look back on my skating memory I think of when I was just skating around randomly; no purpose, just skating to skate.

But what happened when someone challenged me? Boy did I have a purpose then!! I skated faster then I ever had before. Yeah, I ate dirt but that also taught me to get back up and keep going. What would have happened if I had never been challenged? had never been pushed to my limits that day?

I would have never had learned:
1. I can go really fast,
2. but don't skate faster than you have strength.
3. When you fall get back up,
4. and keep doing it all my life.
5. Always use neo and bandages,
6. unless you want a scar out of the experience
etc.
  
   This whole process of trial and learning is what happened to me this week.  I realized, afterwards, that the trials made me see what I needed to learn so that I can become who I need to be. Let me share this journey of discovery with you.
   It started with an uneasy feeling. You know that feeling like you're just not doing your best or you feel like your head is always tilted to the side and everything you see is skewed because of it? That's how I felt; just slightly off balance but it was so subtle that I didn't even realize it was there. Then the trials happened. . . ALL IN ONE WEEK. Here is a condensed list!

1.

My left leg decided to rebel against me and start hurting without telling me the reason.

2.

Everyone we were trying to help ignoring us.

3. 

Doubt, discouragement, diminished self worth, disappointment and despair (a lot of D words) hit me all at once! It was a disaster!

4.

Outside forces converging upon us to keep us from sleep and rest.

5.

One of the missionaries we live with going to the hospital.

(don't worry there was more. I didn't want to overwhelm you. (especially you, mom)

   You can be sure all of these trials one on top of another really sent me for a spin and asking my absolute favorite question of all time; Why?

   One night during all this, as I was asking this question of mine after all of my emotions basically broke in one moment leaving me reeling (lots of tears and prayers involved) I remembered a side of God that I didn't see before. (Wow I hope that sentence made sense to you)

   Spending 4+ hours in bed alone with just me and my trials and questions in one arm and prayers and God's grace in the other like cherished stuffed animals, was just the right thing for me to learn more about myself and the reason for my personal madness than anything else before.

 The major thing I learned that night?

That trials are all part of God's plan! He wants us to grow and learn and the best and greatest way to do that is through trials. I know kind of a bummer but its worked so far right?

There are sooo many plot twists in my life but I know all of them have been directed by God and guided by His grace.

Each trial is a rung on a ladder to our potential.

Let's face it, trials will always be there with all the paperwork included. Take Rafiki's advice and learn and grow. Reach the potential you have within you.

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." (Isaiah 41:10)

God is with you!! Its ok to have trials and be human and fall. Just get up, dust off, and keep going.

When you fall God will lift you up, if you let Him.

Love,
  Ryn

To those who believe in everyday miracles

Dear Emmia and Kirk,

Today we had a miracle!

Here's how it went. Our morning was pretty normal it went by smoothly we got most of our studies in and actually finished lunch early at 11:30. While I was trying to get ready (I've been feeling a bit sick) Sister Carlson took pity on me and did my hair (Miracle #1) which doesn't happen very often (the pitying or my hair getting done)

Then Sister Carlson had a great idea for a blog post and she took pictures of her beat up missionary shoes and her new shoes to compare her growth on her mission. (Miracle #2) While she clicked away she felt so much peace about what she was doing. So hair, sickness, and lethargy on my end and shoes, pictures and ADD on Sister Carlson's end got us out the door and in the car. . . at 12:24 pm. Our shift at the Book of Mormon Publication site starts at 1 pm (but we were suppose to be 15 minutes early). . . and we live 40 minutes to an hour from the sites; a.k.a. we are going to be late. Me, personally I would be freaking out. Wow we are going to be soooo late. Cue anxiety attack NOW!!!

But it didn't come. No beating heart of anxiety, no sweaty palms of worry. I felt peace. I felt like 12:24 pm was the exact time we needed to leave. (Miracle #3) We start on our way and realize that we haven't prayed yet so we turn off the CD playing and I pray while Sister Carlson is driving. While I was praying all the cars parted like the Red Sea (before we were hitting every red light and cars were merging in front of us galore)

The lights were green and we were driving towards our destination when we saw in the distance lights on part of the road ahead of us. Police lights, firetruck and ambulance. I saw it and said "I think that's why. . . " and Sister Carlson looked at me and said "I was thinking the exact same thing and as you said that my heart burned."

As we approached the blinking lights a feeling of gratitude and sadness washed over me in equal measure. I scanned the scene as Sister Carlson drove past it. Men in yellow reflector jackets were everywhere guiding traffic, talking on radios and sweeping up glass. Its a good thing I had sunglasses on because I was tearing up. I looked to see the damage of the car. It was was small and green. lifted up on the flatbed of the tow truck. It was all smashed up.

My soul hurt for the people in that accident and as we drove away I turned off the CD again and prayed. I prayed for those people. I prayed for the men in the yellow reflector jackets. and I thanked God for using our small weaknesses, like pictures of shoes, to protect us.

Protect us from being in that accident, from seeing it or the hurt someone on a stretcher. I could feel the residue of pain that was on that part of the road just moments before.

As you can see I have a very sensitive soul. And God has given that to me as a gift. But I have weaknesses. Sometimes I do not want to get out of bed at 6:30 am. Sometimes I feel left out. Sometimes I say weird things. Sometimes I don't say things I should.

But God uses our strengths AND our weaknesses to bring about His will.

Ether 12:27

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Simple weakness is a miracle. think about it. We are infinite spiritual beings that have bodies living a mortal life. Just think about that for a few.

Everything is a miracle to God. Even trials. Trials are the hardest thing ever that's why they are called trials. They test you, they break you down and sometimes shred you into teeny tiny little pieces.

But through trials God can build us up, strengthen us and bring us closer to what we can become.

Its the small things.

EVERYTHING IS A MIRACLE.

That is what I learned today.

Love, Ryn

Fighting

I have been having some interesting experiences lately. Nothing that could be video recorded or documented. They have been mostly in my head or in my spirit. I’ve been fighting a lot of things. Have you ever felt like that? That you’re doing spiritual kung fu in your mind? That dark and dire enemies have crept into your thoughts and tried to take control?

At these times where I’m wrestling with very real foes I remember that I and all of us are in a war, an unseen war which makes it all the more dangerous. Most people don’t know that we are in a war where heavenly and hellish forces are clashing to win their souls.

Does that change your perspective of who you are? Do you understand how important you are? Don’t worry if it doesn't. It didn't for me for the longest time and I have to remind myself all the time. It’s a continual journey for all of us. Finding out who we are and getting through this life of inner battles and outer conflicts.

The thing that always keeps me going through the difficult times is the knowledge that God loves me and knows my potential; who I can become. And that I have promised Him to do anything He asks and to trust Him. I know that those promises keep me close to Him and Him close to me; through good times, bad times and the worse times. Through this battle of mortality I have the One that created it all by my side and He has given me the armor I need (the Atonement of Jesus Christ, The gospel, covenants, scriptures, prayer, The Plan of Salvation, commandments, etc) to survive this war and get through to the great times.