The Hope in my Heart

Dear Emmia and Kirk,
   My life has not been perfect. Big surprise right? From the get-go it was violent and stormy. I really hope that your start in life will be filled with loving parents and a peace in the home.

I have many memories  that hurt to look back on (the first four years of my life, the passing of my grandpa and many in between). We all have those moments in life where everything seems hopeless. You struggle to get out of bed, put on a brave face to greet the world and move forward. . . or you don't. You just sit there thinking about all the hopeless things. I've done that a lot in the past. I've had many trials in my life, probably not the most extravagant of hardships but they are unique to me.

I've learned from them a hope. This hope isn't fleeting or temporary. Its real and has been real my entire life. It has comforted me through the darkest of paths and the thorniest of ways to find some peace in this life of chaos.

Jesus Christ is the Hope in my heart.

This painting by Greg Olsen is a small vision of the peace I get when I think of Jesus Christ. When I was pitying myself for not having an earthly father or crying at night because of nightmares or grief that peace was with me. It doesn't stop me from crying or feeling sorrow. All it does is reassures me that nothing will be lost.

  Through Jesus Christ I know I'll see my grandpa again. I'll see my Father in Heaven again. Everything that's unfair or mean in life will be made right. Jesus Christ will make all the imperfect things perfect.
   Emmia. Kirk. I want you both to know that He wants to be with you all the time. When you choose to let Him in He will give you peace and everything you need to become like Him. Sometimes it won't be easy. He'll give you things that don't seem like blessings, but they are. When your in the darkest part of your soul thinking you can't possibly return to Him or find Him, wondering how you'll ever see light again, know please know that He is there, in that dark place with you feeling all that you feel, crying all of those tears you've ever cried and holding out is hand. Just have faith to reach out to Jesus Christ and He will lift you up. All of those dark times are molding you into who you can become: greater than you can dream, better than you can imagine, strong enough to touch the stars and maybe someday make some of your own.

  When I walk with Him I am at peace.

Remember always His love for you.

    Love,

Ryn

Turning

     Well just recently I have gone through some big milestones in my life. You know the events and the moments in them that you'll remember for a lifetime (until you're senile)? That's what I'm going through. For those of you who don't know I am a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I serve for 18 months. Well I just got to my half way point. And if that's not enough I just had my 20th birthday. At first, I took it as a double spiritual slap to the face. Satan, (you know the bad guy that whispers horrid things to us to make us feel down about ourselves so we don't reach our full potential and tries to convince us that we should hide our light from others? yeah him) he was really trying to drag me down. And the funny thing is I was given him power to do it!! And I didn't even realize it. So I was going through this junk and kind of coasting on the path when I learned about affirmations; telling ourselves positive things in the mirror to ourselves.
      I love when God who knew I was going through a hard time (even when I didn't know it) helped me out and even gave me the tools to get better. I love God's mercy. All I was praying for was answers to why I was feeling so down when I should feel happy about all these amazing events in my life and God gave me not only the why but the how.
      The ladies might appreciate this. I remember when I was little and I was in ballet and trying (and failing) to spin. Me, being my little self I didn't know how to spot; where you look at one thing while spinning so you don't get dizzy. That's how I felt when Satan was trying to drag me down. I wasn't focusing on what I needed to. I felt all of those unhappy emotions like anger, frustration, doubt, annoyance, worry, fear, confusion, unfairness and they just spun me around in circles. That's what life is like if you don't have anything solid to focus on. You just end up going around and around, turning to and fro and you end up getting dizzy and falling down. But with something to focus on you can dance through life with a smile on your face.
  So I invite you to find something to focus on. Something solid for you so that you can move forward with all you got, no matter what stands in the way. Let me know what you come up with. :) For some it might be their career, their family or a simple something they do everyday.
      For me, my focus is the most solid thing I know to keep my eyes on: Jesus Christ. He will be there forever and because I will always exist and have a forever spirit, like everyone else, its nice to have a forever thing to focus on. He is my Guide and my Savior. He loves me and helps me with anything. Whenever I focus on Him
    I really don't know where you are at in life, if you like cats or dogs, have religion or not, if you are a pepper or a salt person but I want you to think about this next question:

If you knew that someone had lived every moment of their lives for you, then gave that life up just for you:

how would that make you feel?

how would you live?

what would you do for that person?

I know Jesus Christ did this for me and His sacrifice makes me feel like I am important and I know that I am. I want to live my life for Him and I will be like Him and serve Him by helping people like He did. I will focus on Him and turn to Him every time my life takes me for a spin. I will trust Him. I will be His, always.