I remember one time when I was in elementary school we had a skate day. I was so excited!! I borrowed my sister's black and purple skates and I got there, strapped them on, made sure they were nice and tight and started skating my heart out. At first I just roamed around exploring but it got really serious when someone challenged me for a race.
Oh its on. I rolled up my sleeves. Ready, set, go!! I start flying down the track. I'm leaving my opponent in the dust. Weeeee. I smile with glee as I think "I'm totally going to win" and then guess what happened?
That is right. I totally biffed it. ca-splat!! on the blacktop. I had been going so fast that when I tried to "hug the ground" I actually slid a couple feet. hee hee lucky me! as I was dusted my pants and my pride off I discovered a big red hole a little bit bigger than a quarter on my right knee. In my elementary mind I swear the fall had peeled/burned all of the skin off and the red I was looking at was muscle. I know, soo dramatic. (It's my way of finding humor in the situation.)
Has this ever happened to you? Where you thing you are all set and you're going to accomplish all the things! but then you stub you toe or something glitches in your life and you're holding whats left and wondering what just happened?
When I look back on my skating memory I think of when I was just skating around randomly; no purpose, just skating to skate.
But what happened when someone challenged me? Boy did I have a purpose then!! I skated faster then I ever had before. Yeah, I ate dirt but that also taught me to get back up and keep going. What would have happened if I had never been challenged? had never been pushed to my limits that day?
I would have never had learned:
1. I can go really fast,
2. but don't skate faster than you have strength.
3. When you fall get back up,
4. and keep doing it all my life.
5. Always use neo and bandages,
6. unless you want a scar out of the experience
etc.
This whole process of trial and learning is what happened to me this week. I realized, afterwards, that the trials made me see what I needed to learn so that I can become who I need to be. Let me share this journey of discovery with you.
It started with an uneasy feeling. You know that feeling like you're just not doing your best or you feel like your head is always tilted to the side and everything you see is skewed because of it? That's how I felt; just slightly off balance but it was so subtle that I didn't even realize it was there. Then the trials happened. . . ALL IN ONE WEEK. Here is a condensed list!
1.
My left leg decided to rebel against me and start hurting without telling me the reason.
2.
Everyone we were trying to help ignoring us.
3.
Doubt, discouragement, diminished self worth, disappointment and despair (a lot of D words) hit me all at once! It was a disaster!
4.
Outside forces converging upon us to keep us from sleep and rest.
5.
One of the missionaries we live with going to the hospital.
(don't worry there was more. I didn't want to overwhelm you. (especially you, mom)
You can be sure all of these trials one on top of another really sent me for a spin and asking my absolute favorite question of all time; Why?
One night during all this, as I was asking this question of mine after all of my emotions basically broke in one moment leaving me reeling (lots of tears and prayers involved) I remembered a side of God that I didn't see before. (Wow I hope that sentence made sense to you)
Spending 4+ hours in bed alone with just me and my trials and questions in one arm and prayers and God's grace in the other like cherished stuffed animals, was just the right thing for me to learn more about myself and the reason for my personal madness than anything else before.
The major thing I learned that night?
That trials are all part of God's plan! He wants us to grow and learn and the best and greatest way to do that is through trials. I know kind of a bummer but its worked so far right?
There are sooo many plot twists in my life but I know all of them have been directed by God and guided by His grace.
Each trial is a rung on a ladder to our potential.
"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." (Isaiah 41:10)
God is with you!! Its ok to have trials and be human and fall. Just get up, dust off, and keep going.
Love,
Ryn
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